There Is Life Beyond Death's Door
Mama stood at the kitchen sink, quietly drying the dishes and putting them away. I
knew
she was crying because every now and then she would wipe her eyes with the hem
of her
apron. She hadn’t been eating much, lately. She looked so tired and drained. She
was a
tall, beautiful woman. At 40 years old she looked as if she had just turned 30. She
was on a
leave of absence and had been keeping busy around the house, constantly
cleaning,
scrubbing and washing. In hindsight, now I know she was only trying to keep busy
so she
wouldn’t think about her first born son. Mama had slept so much the week before. I
remember wondering, back then, asking myself, was she also sick? I was too afraid
to ask
out loud. I would lie next to her in her bed and watch her sleep. Her stirring
reinsured me
that she was fine-only sleeping. You see, my oldest sister, Winnie, after Brian died,
had
explained to me what dying was. So then I knew that dying was like sleeping, only
you
never wake up. I was not going to let my Mama die also. I would bring into her bed,
my
coloring books and pencils and would sit on that bed until she woke up. Sometimes,
I would
fall asleep, then awake to find her sitting on the edge of the bed, saying her rosary
and I
would join her. In some ways I was like Mama. We were both of quiet spirits but
she was
strong and also an extrovert. She made friends easily. I on the other hand, was
shy,
stubborn and introverted. Later on as I got older, our personality would clash on
many
occasions.
It was a Saturday afternoon in May. We were all sitting at the kitchen table. We,
kids were
eating all the sweets because Mama and Papa were distracted. There was still
plenty of food
left over from the week before. Mama’s many friends had really showered her with
love.
They had cooked and cleaned and comforted her as much as they could. Mama and
Papa
very seldom ate any food, which seemed to last forever. My older siblings were lost
in their
own thoughts and grief, my younger sister, Lena, my cousin Reggie and I ate
heartily of
anything we liked. Being the youngest of the group, we did not fully understand
what was
going on. We were talking amongst ourselves about our
Copyright © Audrey Haick | Year Posted 2010
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