The Worlds Biggest Failure My Downfall And Conffestion

"If I'm the world's biggest failure Does that make me a success ?.'' - Peter Dome. I'm not exactly Midus with his special touch That everything turns to gold You can trust Everything I touch Just turns to rust or dust Always, putting my foot in the wrong place Saying the wrong things to others So embarrassed my cheeks glow like a mellesure beacon. As red as a baboon's bottom on my face Don't expect much I'm only a man And can only do what a man can I put a shelf up on the wall But it wasn't level Everything I put on it Slid to the floor Then it fell down I went to a funeral dressed as a clown Then realised, it wasn't a fancy dress party And didn't go down Too well. Tried to install a burglar alarm Pretty proud of my achievement I went outside to try it out And locked myself out And had to break in It took a bit of explaining It to the cops My failures never stop I'm short-sighted And went to the wrong restroom And the Ladies through me out And didn't half shout Always talking to pretty Girls On the checkout I pay for my goods And forget the goods Walk out of the store Get home and realise What I'd done Having to go back lowering my head And eyes