Jadyn Kilmon | + Follow Poet |
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The White Rose of Good Bye

Today I lay,
a white rose,
upon your grave,
and tears,
seep onto,
the ground,
that now engulfs,
what was once,
my first love.

I kiss your tombstone,
remembering you,
at first sight,
as my heart,
skipped a beat,
as my eyes,
glance into,
the mystery,
of the pair,
of eyes,
that met mine,
that continues.
to travel,
through the labyrinth,
of my soul.

Splashes of red,
color my face,
as the memory,
of the night,
I felt your hand,
caress my own,
as you stole,
my heart,
with your,
affection,
that captivated,
the girl,
that thought,
no man,
could express,
towards her.

Agony consumes,
my thoughts,
running in circles,
that perplex,
my spirit,
with traces,
of my mind,
focusing on,
the deer in headlights,
that was slaughtered,
by the man,
I believed,
was my soul mate.

I laughed half-heartedly,
to ease remnants,
of pain,
as I viewed,
the bold lettering,
of your name,
etched upon,
this rectangular rock,
within this cemetery.

I placed a note,
beside your grave,
with a vignette,
of my rage,
anguish,
and inevitable love,
for you.

Years of fearing,
of falling into your grasp,
were far worse,
than the night,
you attempted,
to taste upon,
the purities,
of my innocence.

There were months,
when I let,
myself drown,
in self-blame,
making excuses,
for your behavior,
creating a paradox,
of sadistic love,
and intense hatred.

On my wedding night,
I cringed as fragments,
of that early august,
morning encounter,
entered my mind,
and guilt became,
visible inside,
my deep hazel eyes,
as my husband’s gaze,
met mine,
and the night,
that should have,
ended with me,
giving him the gift,
that only he,
would receive,
was decimated,
with sounds,
of your body,
Pushing violently,
into me,
 as silence,
muffled,
the words,
I begged,
to escape,
from my lips.

My feelings,
are now a scar,
no longer,
painful,
only a reminder,
of a hard,
 life  lesson,
learned.

So today I forgive,
you,
with this white rose,
symbolizing,
my pure heart,
that contains no love,
nor hate.

I whispered,
as I walked,
away from,
you,
and prayed,
you,
heard.

These words,
“my Innocence,
my heart,
now belongs to,
my lover,
who deserved,
what you,
believed to,
belong to,
you,
without consent,
and I am letting go,
of every aspect,
that connects,
you to me,
with this good bye.”

Copyright © Jadyn Kilmon | Year Posted 2011

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