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The Weight of Pain

She suffered alone, all her silent screams unheard. The frayed thread of hope snapped beneath the weight of pain as the dangling rope went taut. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - © 10th September 2016

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Valerie Staton

Date: 1/27/2019 7:19:00 AM

Very well written!

Paul Callus
Date: 1/27/2019 2:38:00 PM

So pleased you like it, Valerie. Thank you for reading and commenting. Regards // paul

Gerald Kithinji

Date: 11/24/2016 10:28:00 AM

The frayed thread of hope...great image, great Tanka

Paul Callus
Date: 11/25/2016 4:03:00 PM

Hi Gerald...I have just visited your 'Heartless Goddess' and noticed the note you wrote thanking those who commented on your poem...thank you:) Pleased to see you around again. Regards // paul

Freddie Robinson Jr.

Date: 10/24/2016 10:25:00 PM

A truly tragic yet beautifully crafted poem, Paul. Intense and unwavering in its depiction of the last glint of life in a person's eyes. A tortured soul who couldn't bear the pain any longer. If only they knew Jesus like we do. Love your work as always. A pleasure to read your poems. Love always. RW

Paul Callus
Date: 10/27/2016 1:38:00 PM

Thank you for the insightful feedback, Freddie. The human mind is very complicated, and fragile at the same time. God knows what brings one to choose death over life! ~ Regards // paul

Paloma P

Date: 10/10/2016 5:53:00 AM

OMG wasn't expecting that. You captured a frightful image of one's demise, a moment in time so vividly portrayed.

Paul Callus
Date: 10/10/2016 7:37:00 AM

Thank for your encouraging reaction and feedback, Paloma! Pleased to make your acquaintance. ~ Regards // paul

Darlene De Beaulieu

Date: 10/3/2016 11:59:00 AM

This poem is so sad you need a hug consider yourself hugged.Nice Tanka.

Paul Callus
Date: 10/4/2016 3:54:00 PM

That is so very sweet and altruistic of you, Darlene...thank you! Hugs to you too. Regards // paul

Jenni Kalicharan

Date: 10/1/2016 9:14:00 PM

Sigh... this hits home for me Paul.. It's 2 years to the month when the thread snapped beneath my eldest nephew's weight. The imagery here is strong... Good job.

Paul Callus
Date: 10/4/2016 3:52:00 PM

I am sorry to have stirred memories of your nephew's tragedy, Jenni! Two years is very recent, and it must still be very fresh in your mind and the rest of the family. Leaves so many unanswered questions! Thank you for your contribution. Regards // paul

Matthew Anish

Date: 9/20/2016 11:14:00 AM

You tell a sad tale here - but you tell it very well, indeed. Peace & Blessings Matthew Anish

Paul Callus
Date: 9/26/2016 11:25:00 AM

Thank you, Matthew. Peace & Blessings to you too. Regards // paul

Janis Medders Tobechi

Date: 9/18/2016 6:11:00 PM

I feel that you have experienced a great loss. It is a real world, beautiful tanka that captures this person's desperation.

Paul Callus
Date: 9/26/2016 11:04:00 AM

Thank you for reading and commenting meaningfully, Janis. Regards // paul

Carolyn Devonshire

Date: 9/18/2016 1:34:00 PM

I see I left a comment on this earlier, but it was a pleasure to read again. I posted our co-write but haven't heard from you. Perhaps you're on a vacation. Sending love, Carolyn

Paul Callus
Date: 9/26/2016 9:45:00 AM

Sending love and hugs to you too, Carolyn:) ~ paul

David Mohn

Date: 9/18/2016 12:05:00 AM

tremendous tanka Paul...dark and powerful

Paul Callus
Date: 9/26/2016 10:43:00 AM

So pleased that you liked it, David! Thank you. Regards // paul

Jack Horne

Date: 9/17/2016 3:38:00 PM

oh, heartbreaking, my friend. wonderful write

Paul Callus
Date: 9/26/2016 10:42:00 AM

Thank you, Jack; always a pleasure to have you stopping by. Hope you're keeping well, my friend. Regards // paul

Elaine George

Date: 9/16/2016 8:54:00 PM

A VERY POWERFUL TANK! Paul. WOW! WOW! WOW! IS ALL I CAN SAY Elaine

Paul Callus
Date: 9/26/2016 10:36:00 AM

Wow is a great response, Elaine...3 wows must be excellent:) Thank you for your generosity! Warm regards // paul

Agnes Krampe

Date: 9/16/2016 3:03:00 PM

The image of the frayed thread of hope is a powerful one. Great Tanka; I am impressed by how few words you need to tell this sad story. Agnes

Paul Callus
Date: 9/26/2016 10:35:00 AM

And I am impressed by your lovely feedback, Agnes! Thank you! Regards // paul

Maurice Yvonne

Date: 9/15/2016 12:13:00 PM

I read all the comments you got for this piece. For my part this is just as good as it gets. A Fav!

Paul Callus
Date: 9/26/2016 10:03:00 AM

Your generosity is truly appreciated, Armand. Thank you for your sincere encouragement!! Regards // paul

Nilima Deb

Date: 9/15/2016 12:33:00 AM

Sounds sadistic but rich in art of mind !Loved it.

Paul Callus
Date: 9/26/2016 10:02:00 AM

I know what you mean, Nilima; thank you for loving it:) Pleased to make your acquaintance...Regards // paul

Carolyn Devonshire

Date: 9/14/2016 2:15:00 PM

There are many people who suffer in silence, then succumb to pain. The image of the rope becoming taut is very powerful. Your poem is further proof that a verse doesn't need to be long to pack a punch. I had a friend in Tallahassee who died just the way your describe here. Before he left work, he gave everyone a "high five." That was the last time he was seen alive. Definitely a favorite for me, my friend. Hugs, Carolyn

Paul Callus
Date: 9/26/2016 9:43:00 AM

It is a pleasure to read your lovely feedback, Carolyn, and thank you for the fav! Excuse the late reply, but I still have lots of mail to catch up on. Sorry that your friend ended his life so tragically:( Hugs ~~ paul

Ravi Sathasivam

Date: 9/14/2016 3:54:00 AM

Sad and really a heartfelt write. Good Tanka. Thanks for sharing it Paul.

Paul Callus
Date: 9/26/2016 9:39:00 AM

Thank you Ravi; it is in sharing that we derive satisfaction! Regards // paul

Richard Lamoureux

Date: 9/12/2016 8:27:00 AM

Wow, I can feel the weight of your words. Such a sad outcome.

Paul Callus
Date: 9/13/2016 4:04:00 PM

Thank you for contributing your share of ideas, Richard. You're welcome here anytime:) Regards // paul

Nette Onclaud

Date: 9/11/2016 8:08:00 PM

heavyweight kind of tanka, paul.. beautiful last line.. huggs

Paul Callus
Date: 9/13/2016 2:46:00 PM

Hi Nette, thank you...'heavyweight' sounds great, even though I happen to be lightweight:) Hugs // paul

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 9/11/2016 8:02:00 PM

this is EXCELLENT tanka in my humble opinion, Paul. wow.

Paul Callus
Date: 9/13/2016 2:44:00 PM

I very much respect your humble opinion, Andrea:) Thank you! Regards // paul

Casarah Nance

Date: 9/11/2016 6:23:00 PM

Sad... hugs xx

Paul Callus
Date: 9/13/2016 2:43:00 PM

Hugs to you too, Casarah:) // paul

Probir Gupta

Date: 9/11/2016 6:17:00 AM

Moments I come across to feel with shutters down for some time ... so mighty ...

Paul Callus
Date: 9/11/2016 4:57:00 PM

Thank you for reading and commenting, Probir. I'm pleased that you felt the force of its meaning. Regards // paul

Connie Marcum Wong

Date: 9/10/2016 10:50:00 PM

Mental and physical pain are so difficult to endure. Seems you have insight into the mental pain with your sad words. Excellent Paul! 7 ; )

Paul Callus
Date: 9/11/2016 4:48:00 PM

Connie, I had a friend who seemed quite normal, dedicated to work and family, always with a smile....and then one day out of the blue he took his own life. His wife was devastated; she had no clue what made him do it! The mind is very complex. ~ Thank you for your input and excellent comments. Regards // paul

Joseph May

Date: 9/10/2016 9:40:00 PM

Very sad when someone think there's no hope left...

Paul Callus
Date: 9/11/2016 4:29:00 PM

Hope is the frail bridge across the raging river of emotions, Joseph; if it gives way, then all is lost! Thank you for reading. Regards // paul

Kelly Deschler

Date: 9/10/2016 9:00:00 PM

Some may see this as the only way out, but suicide really is not the answer... A difficult subject to write about, though more people need to read about this... Very well done, Paul.

Paul Callus
Date: 9/11/2016 4:21:00 PM

Of course, you are right, Kelly; suicide kills a problem, but does not solve it! Often these people reach out for help which for various reasons fails to arrive, as in this case. ~ Thank you for stopping by and contributing through your feedback. Regards // paul