The Warts
When I was just a kid
I loved to play with frogs
I found them varmits everywhere
Even under logs
I'd catch them and I'd hold them
Until they peed on me
Then I'd throw a crying fit
And let them suckers free
Sometimes they peed a lot
Maybe even quarts
Then my mama told me
Them frogs will give you warts
Of couse, I didn't believe her
But, you know how the story goes
For by the time I was a teenager
There were warts growing on my nose
The girls thought I was ugly
So I never got a date
I knew I'd never get married
And loneliness was my fate
And then, I met this woman
Who's loved frogs all her life
She didn't mind my warts at all
And she became my wife
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