The Value In Brokenness

a life destroyed by a dr's stupidity.
Angry that his holiday was ruined
because a woman was in labor.
his carelessness altered my reality.

I would have been born without pain
if he wasn't in such a rush that day.
breaking my skull as I slipped from his hands.
then tried to ensure a secret it'd remain.

But then six months later it came to the light
my body began convulsing uncontrollably
my parents took me everywhere they could 
till finally they spoke to that doctor about that night.

My childhood proved difficult with no control
never knowing what would happen in a day
rejection and taunting were tools of the bullies
and the stress of it all would take its toll.

Then growing up after graduation day
I went to Canada to see some of my family
the cabin pressure from the flight there and back
awoke the sleeping monster on my 18th birthday.

a brain tumor began showing itself slowly
my dr ran some tests finding it shocking 
my parents and himself how long it was there and why
it grew around fragment of bone and in a sack to protect me.

But as years went one more things appeared
dangerous pregnancies and miscarriages as well
after my life changed again new things were diagnosed
things that I once told could happen and was feared

So now I have more than just the epilepsy
but three new ailments I now live with
not counting the small things all along
lupus, Ra and thyroid issues remind me life isn't easy.

but all this taught me that I am not defined by my disabilities
as people consider them, but instead are my limitations.
God guides me showing I still have so many possibilities

©June 2019, Bonnie J Hollywood-Cutts

Copyright © | Year Posted 2019



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Date: 11/5/2019 12:18:00 AM
What some doctors get away is nothing short of a murder - prayers be with you Bonnie and stay strong . . .
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Hollywood-Cutts Avatar
Bonnie Hollywood-Cutts
Date: 11/15/2019 2:31:00 PM
thank you. God uses our brokenness to show us the world in a way that shows perfection isn't what we should strive for but compassion for our fellow humans and animals around us. I had a protective childhood my parents cared almost too much for me so I see the pain in others not just physical but mental and emotional in ways people are blinded to.
Date: 6/24/2019 7:26:00 AM
https://www.poetrysoup.com/poets/top_100_poets_most_poems_all_time.aspx James Horn. Have you been reading any of my poems lately?
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Hollywood-Cutts Avatar
Bonnie Hollywood-Cutts
Date: 8/30/2019 7:42:00 AM
I haven't been on much but will soon. Sorry if you feel like I'm ignoring you. But sometimes I do come in and read but I don't always leave comments and I know I need to begin leaving my footprints on the poems.
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