The Tweetamol
The Tweetamol as you will see
Is strange beyond deformity.
You’ll gasp, then gape and then declare,
‘I’ve never seen a bird with hair!
A hairy bird- what’s that about?’
You’ll hear yourself begin to shout.
And if you’re lucky you might see
It do something extraordinary-
But this may give you quite a shudder
To see it start to milk its udder.
(It does this every other day
Then posts it to the milky- way).
The thing about this crazy bird
The thing I find is most absurd,
Is that it does from time to time
Pretend to be a porcupine.
Now porcupines, and I think I’m right
Have quills and come out late at night,
Whereas this barmy batty beast
When it comes out to have a feast-
Dons lilies from the lily pond
And brandishes a wizard’s wand,
And then, in words I cannot utter
Gobbles jars of peanut butter.
It does this till it’s had a few
Then swims off in the ocean blue.
To which it sings a lullaby
To whales and roes and flutterbies.
Another thing about this bird
Is that it doesn’t say a word.
That’s not because it cannot speak-
Or that it hasn’t got a beak;
The beak it’s got is well applied
And opens up from side to side.
Instead, as best as it is able
It likes to write thing on a table,
Then charge a pound (which I think is fair)
To see what it has written there.
But if it thinks you’re being stroppy
It will refuse to give a copy.
And so, before you ask advice
Do try and be a little nice.
Copyright © Wayne Riley | Year Posted 2015
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