The Tortoise That Barked

My Tortoise started barking so I took it for a walk, I put him on a little leash which made the neighbours talk, I threw a tiny stick for him in the local park, but by the time he brought it back, it was getting pretty dark, I taught him how to sit and beg, give me his front paw, he goes and fetches all the mail when it comes through the door, all the things I've taught him, are I think pretty swell, he looks at me, shakes his head and goes into his shell.