The Tooth Fairy Mugged My Grandma
The Tooth Fairy is a thief
And I know this is to be true
So I'd sleep with the lights on
I'm not kidding, I would if I were you
You see, my poor old grandma
Told me this story one day
Of how that crooked old tooth fairy
Swiped her false teeth away
It was in the winter of 1932
And everybodys water had froze
It was really cold back then they say
Well, that's how the story goes
Anyway, it was as cold as could be
And the water was freezing fast
Would you believe even the water
With my grandma's teeth in the glass?
So she put them under her pillow
Yep, the whole glass and all
She wanted to warm them up you see
And try to get them to thaw
And late that night, about half passed nine
When the thief, I mean tooth fairy came in
My grandma was still fast asleep
But that was about to end
When the tooth fairy went for the teeth
My grandma opened her eyes
Now, that tooth fairy didn't know my grandma
And was in for quite a surprise
Granny grabbed her by the neck
And tossed her behind the bed
But the tooth fairy was not giving up
She was just more determined instead
Now that tooth fairy had an advantage
Cause fairytale creatures can fly
So she flew up to the ceiling
And poked granny in both of her eyes
When granny was blind and couldn't see
She grabbed those teeth and left
She didn't leave her one red cent
So that's what makes it a theft
Well, that's my story believe it or not
But everything I said is true
That tooth fairy has my grandma's dentures
And I bet she can really chew
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