The Toll of Life

The Toll of Life



I’m falling apart at all my seems, 
IV lost my goals and I have no dreams.
I drink to make the pain go away but it just subsides it,
It’s here to stay.
IV given up on most things I care about,
People don’t notice because I keep my sadness quiet as a mouse.
I don’t want them to care, I don’t want them to know me.
Sometimes I wish god would just take me so that I can finally be set free.
Set free from the minions that control my life,
Holding me down and making me fight.
I want to be a happy girl.
Not a sad girl who feels so alone in a cold and empty world.
I have lost who I am again, and I just want to find her.
I will always continually be searching,
Through all of the blur.
I have the capability of becoming something great.
But I can’t become that until I don’t feel like i'm gonna break.
I don’t want it to hurt, I don’t want it to burn.
I want to be happy….Is it ever gonna be my turn?
I feel divided into a million little pieces,
Torn apart at the creases.
The time will come when i’m ready to make changes,
But for right now, the alcohol is in charge
And i’m gonna let it be,
Until i’m ready to set myself free.


*I wrote this in the summer of ’08 when I was in a really bad place in my life. 
I’m glad to say that I have become a better person because of it and that i’m okay now:)

Copyright © Lia Johnson | Year Posted 2009

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