The time between rooms
I look different in the time between rooms.
I smile, I'm brave, I push those feelings down
While I busy myself, cooking, chatting
"All is well!"
Then
The walk between one room to the next
The smile drops
The frown
The fretful sigh
The shake of the head
"I can't do this"
Then I arrive in the next room
Replace the mask
Don't let them see the pain
The grief of a life in limbo
Of decades lost
Why did I stay?
Joking, they'd never know
Then
Alone.
Long stares, unanswered prayers
The deep dark hole that is now.
Hoping with everything I have that one day, the smile will stay and it will be real.
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