Tom Bell Poet Ballad

The Terror of Tootsie Town

In the age old refrigerator
A huge Tootsie Roll did reign
All the fruits and vegetables
Thought he was most insane
Too sweet, too dark, too strong
as all the other food could see
And though he knew that it was wrong
He beat up a poor old onion
Till everyone did cry
Was it sorrow, or onion-burning
the real real reason why?

Well Tootsie had to travel
Promised to some fair maiden I am told
So he hopped on his Tootsie-cycle
Thank God he was just that bold

But on his Tootsie-cycle
He lost his paper wrap
Now the maiden would never touch him
He felt like such a sap!

He finally got to the maiden's homesite,
Having suffered greatly from the heat
Half melted, and chocolate oozing
No one would ever eat

So Tootsie Terror went back home
into his refrigerator cold
But now only half a Tootsie,
He dare not be so bold

Ambushed by a wild pack of pickles
Poor Tootsie was sorely beat
Now Tootsie would surely be
A Tootsie none would eat...

Sometimes, fate, it seem so fickle
as here with the rotten, evil pickle
Twists and turns can fool you
So stay in the fresh food drawer
And if more pickles try to strike
Tell them that you'd truely swore
Your Tootsie Gang from Shar's
You really did there call
And if they want to rumble
Those pickle had better watch
'Cause you and your tootsie buddies
Will surely, surely maul.

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