The Stand In

Our relationship was like a screenplay, set in a theatre for the audience to view, everyone had a part to play, and their lines that they knew The stage was set and ready to captivate curious eyes, everyone had on their fake façade, and their beguiling disguise The male lead goes to you, the one who has my heart, the female lead is a girl that has always had the part She has played the part for years and been right there by your side, there is no need for you to practice, you both already know your lines She tells you she loves you with a dreamy look in her eyes, and your response is instant and matches hers, while I try to silence mine See, I’m just the stand in, the girl waiting in the wings for her to miss a line, so I can step in and finally call you mine But the issue is that she is too good, and she knows her lines too well, there is no one that plays the part better than her, that is why this show sells The audience wants to see perfection and not a made-up version of the show, they want their moneys worth, so never will they know The stand in, the girl that knows all the lines and can play the part, stands in the wings just waiting, with a broken heart Yearning for you to reach up and touch her face, and look deeply into her eyes and say, “I love you” in this place The stand in, is all I am to you, the girl that could never live up to the lead, the one who can never, truly have you I’m there to run lines with you and make sure that you don’t fail, but you don’t want me there with you, when its showtime, and the show is real You have her there to lead you, and make sure the shows a success, and when you look at me, all you see is a mess A mess that you created, that you hurt for your own gain, you may be playing the victim, but I’m the one who is in pain You created this world where I am happy, and you lived there with me, and then she steps on the stage and the curtain closes on my fantasy Your voice haunts me although I try to block it out, I feel like it gets louder, and then you start to shout She takes a bow, and holds your hand, and walks off with you, while I stand back and wait for my moment to shine through The audience gives a standing ovation for the leading roles, and the part that you played, and I cry tears of sadness, knowing I’ll never have my day I’ll never get to stand up on that stage with you, I’ll never get to look in your eyes and say “I love you” I’ll never hear those words whispered back to me, because I am just the stand in girl, and you already have the lead. This poem is from my book titled Windows of The Heart available on Amazon and Kindle. My pen name is Amanda Carroll Kinzer