The Ship

startled to sudden wakefulness by the sudden lurch of the ship, fear rose in my soul cold, damp hull next to my berth, I'd give 10 years of my life to have my feet on solid earth dark, quiet inboard only the low pitched groans of metal pounded by an angry, restless sea was it the fear, or the sound, that had woken me? Eyes open half way, not quite sure where I am- What I did, and why, or who I really am- was I drunk? was I mad? or am I just dead? pounding waves roll into my ears, and echo in my head... riveted steel plates before my eyes, drops of sea dew condense inside, sudden terror, as my mind awakes- no sound aboard- but the rhythmatic pounding of heavy seas engines dead! no motor sound- have we once too often- dared the fates? what's going on? what and why? and where, oh God, are my mates? I jerked out of bed, as the deck dances beneath my feet- what's happening? is this real? will death, I once more, defeat? to the hall I stagger... as my world shudders about me... no lights, no sound, and fading hope... but the sound of ever maddening waves... eager to crush this insolent ship, so insolent as to invade its realm so foolish to taunt nature with no one now at its helm each cabin, in rising panic, I searched in rising gloom, to find nothing to comfort me, each but an empty room... fear increasing with- each crushed hope, each screaming smash of wave am I alone, am I dreaming? or against me, the sea is scheming? fought my way up to the rolling deck, pain swelling in my now sprained neck- alone? the sea grew ever more threatening and awesome, I felt left alone to face my fate my outcome no longer doubtful, I wouldn't have long to wait... at a topside cabin, I peeked outside, saw mighty wind and wave- an angry earth it was tonight no way for me to save... dark night and no one about- I cursed, I cried, I screamed, I did shout... abandoned? left to die? or in a murderous dream- did I make 32 die? toss their bodies overboard? feed the sea, its requested hoard? panic is panic, and panic this was- demon or victim? which was I, did I kill? will I die? I retreated downdeck, a broken man, either way I lose- the comfort of strong steel- no more- it would'a been something that I could use