The Ring

When we were young and so in love You called me your Tiger, I called you my dove I knelt on my knee and began to sing Opened my heart and gave you a ring The years went by and the ring you wore I did things to make love grow more Time marched on and it seemed to me You slid away so gradually I ate your food when it was burnt I said you looked good when you weren’t I rubbed your back and clipped your nails I listened to all your endless tales I bought you flowers, watched your shows Extended the closet for all your clothes Washed the dishes and mopped the floors Did the laundry and asked for more The ring on your finger you still had But good things just turned out bad Tell me if the ring holds love for me Hell no! you said, disgustedly And I said, You loud mouth, Prima Donna, lying ***** Overbearing, selfish wicked old witch Money spendin’, glory grabbin’ with no class Take that ring and run it up the mast (Think of an alternate line) You high fluting’ grumpy old nag Screamin’ and kicking always on the rag Uptight, frivolous, bossy old grump Scheming, dreamin’ horses’ rump (spoken loudly) YOU NEVER HAD A CLUE, MUCH LESS A PLAN NO IDEA HOW TO TREAT A MAN SPENT MY MONEY JUST LIKE A SNOB GOOD LUCK IN GETTING’ THAT BOOB JOB HELL I FEEL BETTER ALREADY GO AND LIVE WITH YOUR MOTHER BETTY NO WONDER SHE LAUGHED AT ME THE GROOM SENDING ME TO MY DOOM