The Repenting Sinner

for so many years I've walked about carrying my load of sin. getting high...a constant battle i just cant seem to win. Every night i pray o'lord forgive me....make me strong but when i wake i think no more once again my choice is wrong. why..why cant i stop i ask myself make it all just go away i want to be so much more than what i am today. the greatest love i once had found his battle was just the same that's when i gave in, and did it to a mental institution he now remains such a stab to my heart..great loss for my soul i should had learned from him but still i cant say no. Every night i pray just the same forgive me lord, for i have sinned yet another time. i promise no more just help me get through. i do not want to be left behind please...please take me to the battle....lord help me be a winner so i will no longer be a continuous repenting sinner