The Question

Why do you always look at me With that question in your eyes The one that always wonders How come you never try Why can’t you just go exercise Your face is filled with doubt You shake your head and wonder What do you have to be depressed about You have a job You have wealth You have a family You have your health Go watch a funny movie Or read a funny book Change your way of thinking Clean your house or cook Lace up your dusty sneakers Go walk around the lake I’m sure to God you will feel better If my advice you would only take I have a lot of patience For you my dearest friend A lack of understanding Makes it hard to comprehend It’s not a way of thinking It doesn’t come from any place The loss of feeling in my life Takes up a gigantic space The things that you find so easy Are the things that make me blue To ask me to forget that I am sad Is liking asking me to remember someone I never knew It’s not a situation It’s not anything I control It’s not my choice to wake up Trapped in this black hole Sometimes my thoughts are anxious Sometimes my heart is faint The color of distress in my body I will never be able to paint Sometimes it’s hard to breathe Sometimes it’s all a test Sometimes it’s hard to hold the hand Of the person you love the best Some days feel like a battle Some days feel like a chore Some days you stop to wonder Will I ever win this war So as you read this poem My sneakers I will take And I will force my body To walk around the lake I will have a beautiful smile For everyone I meet I will look them in the eyes And never miss a beat No one will be the wiser No one will think I am sappy I will leave them all wondering Why is she so happy? So the next time that you look at me With that question in your eyes Think to yourself I am happy for her Look how hard she tries