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The Pub Call

You`re off to the pub to see your mates
The beers cold and wet...and flows like the tide
And the first six schooners don’t touch the sides

Then you feel a warmth just start to creep
And throughout your body it begins to seep
Then you get that well-worn plastered smile
That stunned mullet look across your dial

But you continue on...well you’re not sure why
It’s the thing you do...cause you’re a guy
Then you need to “go” and you map out the track
And its two steps forward and ten steps back

Of course, you know the way...you’ve been there before
Still...you just can’t find that bloody door!
And you’re swaying there...while your eyeballs float
Cause you think someone’s moved the door that says “BLOKES”

But of course, that’s not true, it’s your eyes that are blurred
And you can’t ask directions...cause your speech is too slurred
Hey, but you manage to find the way back to the bar
But you’re denied that “roadie” ...as you’ve filled your quota

So, you’re outa there now...but you still need that “pee”
You’ve lost all direction, but still find a tree
And with trousers round ankles...you grin like a gnome
As you pee in the front yard of somebody’s home

Then you continue on...well by now you need “bed”
But that’s not to be...it’s a garden hedge instead
And when you awake with the mornings first light
You wander off home...once you’ve focused your sights

But your head pounds a beat...and the body’s in pain
And you tell yourself you won’t do this again
Though you know that’s not true...you’ve said it before
One call from the boys...and you’ll fly out the door

Copyright © Ingrid Pegram | Year Posted 2019

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