The Pub Call

You`re off to the pub to see your mates The beers cold and wet...and flows like the tide And the first six schooners don’t touch the sides Then you feel a warmth just start to creep And throughout your body it begins to seep Then you get that well-worn plastered smile That stunned mullet look across your dial But you continue on...well you’re not sure why It’s the thing you do...cause you’re a guy Then you need to “go” and you map out the track And its two steps forward and ten steps back Of course, you know the way...you’ve been there before Still...you just can’t find that bloody door! And you’re swaying there...while your eyeballs float Cause you think someone’s moved the door that says “BLOKES” But of course, that’s not true, it’s your eyes that are blurred And you can’t ask directions...cause your speech is too slurred Hey, but you manage to find the way back to the bar But you’re denied that “roadie” ...as you’ve filled your quota So, you’re outa there now...but you still need that “pee” You’ve lost all direction, but still find a tree And with trousers round ankles...you grin like a gnome As you pee in the front yard of somebody’s home Then you continue on...well by now you need “bed” But that’s not to be...it’s a garden hedge instead And when you awake with the mornings first light You wander off home...once you’ve focused your sights But your head pounds a beat...and the body’s in pain And you tell yourself you won’t do this again Though you know that’s not true...you’ve said it before One call from the boys...and you’ll fly out the door