The Princess and the Ruddy Great Rock

For 30 years this princess has been slowly but surely piling up these mattresses. The goal you know already: a contented night’s sleep. Soft, satisfying, and a whole lot more cosy than the rugs that those poor bugs seem to get lumbered with. 30 years. That’s a long time to be stacking those damn things. And it’s hard work for a princess you know. It’s not like I’m used to sweeping cinders like some others I could mention. There are no dwarfs or woodland creatures here helping me out. 30 years. Just me meticulously placing one on top of the other. No genie gave me a lamp to rub and ‘alakazam’ it’s done. There’s no beanstalk to climb up either. Just a rickety old step ladder as my faithful servant offering me a hand. Till finally, now, I’m done, ready to climb in. And then what. You come along and shove a ruddy great rock underneath them. Marvellous. What chance is there now of that decent night’s sleep, I ask you? I knew I should have stayed away from that damn frog. Next time I’ll kiss the toad.