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The Others Part 2

Suicide isn't an option but I can't say it has never been,
I'll admit, I tried it once, way back when.
I was only a teenager,
And things had just piled too high.
At first, I just did designs, like tattoos, hidden from the eye.

It had been just one of those nights,
A knock-out, drag-out, escalated fight.
So, I was done, I was mad, 
Too many nights that always went bad.

Slammed the door, but he still got off one last word,
I was so angry, the world became blurred.
I went for my friend the precision razor,
Whispering, okay friend, one last favor.

I knew how to do it right,
Deeper than usual, straight up and down.
I would just drift off into nothingness
without making a sound.

This wound up being one of those times I spoke of earlier,
Where someone or something steps up and takes over.

I had already done it, 
The puddle forming in my hand before dripping to the floor.
Blurred vision, slowed breathing,
Closed my eyes, then no more.

But, just as I was slipping, a friend of mine burst through the door,
He grabbed me, sat me up, asked me what this was for.
I couldn't answer, I couldn't explain.
Why wasn't I gone? Why wasn't I in pain?

My friend was just staring at the puddle of blood in my hand,
And asked me how it wasn't running over.
I didn't understand.

It was still running from the cuts I had made
But in my palm was where it stayed.

Then I looked at it a little closer and grabbed my razor,
Then slowly guided it under the thin stream,
Lifted it up, back down, then back up for good measure.
If it hadn't been for my friend being there, I would've thought this was a just a dream.

He asked me how I was doing it,
Of course I answered, that I didn't know.
We just watched it
Until it finally began to slow.

I didn't know then but I do know now
Something kept me from dying but I still don't know how.
Over the years I have gained many scars from a knife,
But after that night I have never again tried to take my own life.

No matter how bad things get or how heavy things become,
Whether you practice magic, belief in God, or atheism,
I believe that when you take a life, whether yours or some other,
No re-dos, no forgiveness. Chances? You won't get another.

I don't know what I believe in anymore,
But back then, it wasn't God, it wasn't the Devil, they'd put me on ignore.

So, back to what I was talking about before,
See, it's things like this that have made me explore.
Because when I start to talk about them, suddenly there's a detour.

It's hard for me to stay focused, I get easily distracted with a thought,
Ever since I was little, this problem I have fought.
I lose track of time and sometimes lose time altogether,
It has made me lose other things and other times kept me from danger.

When I was little, something bad happened to me,
I think because of it, I accidentally made another personality.
We are aware of each other,
One wouldn't exist without the Other.
Like a real Best Friend, till the end, a Blood Brother.

But, then there are times, friends have told me
That while I wasn't anywhere around, they would see
He would just show up places without me entirely.
As far as I know, a personality isn't free,
It's attached to you completely.

So, I don't quite know where I am going with this.
I guess this is just a way to get it out that I exist.

Believe me or not, soon you'll know.
Everyone I've told about him, eventually he will show.

So, if you see something out of the corner of your eye,
Or perhaps a shadowy figure that is thin framed, clad with a long coat, 
Spiked hair and a mask,
You have nothing to worry about, unless your intentions are a lie.

To Be Continued...?

Copyright © Onyx Perth | Year Posted 2021

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