The Ones Who Love Me

My entire life, I have gone through the list. The only ones that love me, still have been the ones that have hurt me, and i forgive, and forgive. A bottomless pitt of giving. Will i always have to pay a price? Another heart wound, another theft another lie, another hurt. To trust, and give freely, is stupid it costs me everything. I am no christian, to let them crucify me, self sacrificial. And they say, I need boundaries and self love, to care for myself first, to have anything to give. The boundaries make me angry, unforgiving, my heart closes my inspiration dies, my soul is quiet and doesnt speak to me I am even more alone....