The Night of August 11th

Before it starts, I know the end, But my heart still makes me go. Into the depths of the throbbing dark, Where strobes flash and minds run slow. Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! I clutch the alcohol: my only chance. Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Only by numbing myself can I dance. And dance I do, with fists flailing about, building my rhythm without a care, knowing not what to do in this place; ‘tis not where men such as I find their pair. Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Such freedom there is in dancing alone! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Consider the beat, and rock to the bone! Some others believe it a mating display, And drag me into their circles of sweat. I ignore them; ‘tis not that game that I play, I prefer love sung from lips not so wet. Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Though one I do cherish is there that night. Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Her strategy differs from mine; curse the light! For I see her lock with forms in the dark, Men, if you call them that, coming to her. It wouldn’t hurt, but the kisses went on- too long for the fire in me not to stir. Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! My lips curl in a snarl none shall e’er see. Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! And now I wish she were dancing with me. So I pour all the anguish into the veins, And punch the air harder to vent off the steam. And my brows furrow deeply in jealous pain. And if I weren’t so drunk, I think I could scream. Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! At least now I know the answer from her. Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Strange, without words, one can still be so sure. What else could transpire? I am after all, Not so usual a man by anyone’s gauge. Though I assure you my heart knows how to stay, Locked away for one in a self-made cage. Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! But cages have locks that can break quite clean. Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! And sometimes it hurts, when on iron you lean. So, drunk and proud, I took flight in the dark, And drifted away to the back seat of my truck. Alone, in the midst of the city that night, Bound by poison I drank, for a time, I am stuck. Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! The thrum in the ears persists on and on. Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Fading as I sleep and repair ‘fore the dawn. I wake in the darkness, fuzzy and hot. Clenching my fists, I feel the return, Of control to my body, and the edge to my mind, And the bittersweet knowledge that my heart’s bound to burn. Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! I wear my sunglasses at night, I’ll be home anon. Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! I turn the broken key, and then I am gone. 08-12-17