The Mighty Master Macho Man Tom...And the Lil' Mouse
I'm lean, I'm mean, I'm tough as nails
Nothing could frighten me
I'm ready to defend my turf
as you can plainly see
Ju-Jitsu man, master of knife and sword,
Can shoot an eye out at a mile...
No fool would be so foolish
as to dare challenge me...
You see before he'd even know it,
I'd break his stupid knee
No Superman or Batman
Would dare to take on me
But, well, Mighty Mouse, that's another story,
Which leads us to our yarn..
But first let me emphasize
I am mighty, mighty macho
I'll never suffer hurt
I'm such a mighty he-man,
Even when I wear a skirt!
As Ive shown, I've always rules
My kingdom is my house
Until one winter's day
When I was attacked by a tiny mouse!
He scurried out from beneath the sink
and caught me by surprise,
That dastardly little bully!!
Just what did he thinK?
I saw bloodthirsty menace in his eyes..
I jumped up on the table
knew not if i should have fled
The frightful thought then came to me
What if now he's in my bed??
So I shored up my fading courage
Went to enroll in Mouse Martial Arts
I'll get that little bast_rd..
Before he terrifies more hearts
So when i graduated,
back to home I went
Helmet,armor, side-arms, baseball bat,
and mace and gas-mask too...
I knew I was now prepared,
For whatever he may do!
I searched the house that evening,
But find him i could not...
Now worried he went for friends...
that evil little snot!!
500 mose-traps I then set
Comforted, so off to bed I went
Woke up from a bad mouse-dream,
in the middle of the night,
To the bathroom i had to go
My bladder told me so,
Now if you can imagine
Being caught in 50 traps
Then you may envision
What was about to elapse...
Oww!Oww!Oww!, Oh, Mercy Me! is what I cried!
As mouse traps snapped right and left
My poor old bludgeoned feet!
Paid the price for my stupidity
And not being at all too deft!
I pee'd myself in pain,
It flowed from me like rain!
Luckily in spite of many a hurtful trap,
my pants I did not crap!
So let this be a lesson,
If a mouse wants to live with you,
Just choke down on your pride...
"Cause there's nothing you can do!!!
Copyright © Tom Bell | Year Posted 2007
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