The Mighty Master Macho Man Tom...And the Lil' Mouse

I'm lean, I'm mean, I'm tough as nails Nothing could frighten me I'm ready to defend my turf as you can plainly see Ju-Jitsu man, master of knife and sword, Can shoot an eye out at a mile... No fool would be so foolish as to dare challenge me... You see before he'd even know it, I'd break his stupid knee No Superman or Batman Would dare to take on me But, well, Mighty Mouse, that's another story, Which leads us to our yarn.. But first let me emphasize I am mighty, mighty macho I'll never suffer hurt I'm such a mighty he-man, Even when I wear a skirt! As Ive shown, I've always rules My kingdom is my house Until one winter's day When I was attacked by a tiny mouse! He scurried out from beneath the sink and caught me by surprise, That dastardly little bully!! Just what did he thinK? I saw bloodthirsty menace in his eyes.. I jumped up on the table knew not if i should have fled The frightful thought then came to me What if now he's in my bed?? So I shored up my fading courage Went to enroll in Mouse Martial Arts I'll get that little bast_rd.. Before he terrifies more hearts So when i graduated, back to home I went Helmet,armor, side-arms, baseball bat, and mace and gas-mask too... I knew I was now prepared, For whatever he may do! I searched the house that evening, But find him i could not... Now worried he went for friends... that evil little snot!! 500 mose-traps I then set Comforted, so off to bed I went Woke up from a bad mouse-dream, in the middle of the night, To the bathroom i had to go My bladder told me so, Now if you can imagine Being caught in 50 traps Then you may envision What was about to elapse... Oww!Oww!Oww!, Oh, Mercy Me! is what I cried! As mouse traps snapped right and left My poor old bludgeoned feet! Paid the price for my stupidity And not being at all too deft! I pee'd myself in pain, It flowed from me like rain! Luckily in spite of many a hurtful trap, my pants I did not crap! So let this be a lesson, If a mouse wants to live with you, Just choke down on your pride... "Cause there's nothing you can do!!!