The Metamorphosis

At this point i lay here watching all my chess pieces layed out before me the kaleidoscope through which the images of my past are being played to me is gradualy growing deem and in my eyes i feel the sting of the tears i should have cried for all those moments they would have mattered but i decided not to. I hate the fact that this cancer that is eating on me is something i despise so much and yet somehow i can't seem to stop myself from getting even deeper into it,so much that it feels like its almost second nature to me and yes my lies have now deemed my truth irrelevant same as all the futile attempts previously made to rescue me. But you can go to sleep and know this the last time it will happen and if i can't stop it,it may aswel consume me.