The Memory

I still remember. I don’t know how many lifetimes ago, maybe just a few, not too many. This new body remembers too the way my terror made you smile the way only my breath could escape even my mind caught in my skull strapped to your table trying to turn off trying to turn off the light of awareness as your mask of kindness came off as your secret smile showed as delight grew in your face as I tried to not break as I tried to push the pieces of my being together pretending not see the fractures. You chased my soul into hell, laughing, then leaving off when you saw I thought the flames better friends than you; did you suspect only then you’d gone too far, or was I boring and out of reach. i hid in Hell like a fish in kelp, knowing the damned were so many you’d never find me in the multitude, knowing at last you’d lose sight of me. Unable to escape your table I made my walk through fire. I couldn’t escape there either, but I was free of you i was free of you The fire almost took my mind. You do not know what hot is. The fire almost took my mind beyond resurrection, like a piece of wood. But somehow i managed, barely managed. Balanced on the razor’s edge of mindfulness for an aeon. I remember you. This new body remembers you, too. The terror lingers in my gut. The ash of rage still won’t wipe clean from The light of my mind. You have no clue no clue what you’ve done. I am coming.