The Man Who Lives In Your Cupboard

I’m the man who lives in your cupboard And nobody knows I’m there So when you glasses are missing Or somebody’s been in your chair Or the milk’s not in the fridge Or the lid’s left off the jar Or your keys have gone missing When you really need the car It’s me who’s been a bit busy Playing little tricks, it’s just my way Of trying to ease my boredom’ When I come out at the end of the day Sometimes you nearly catch me You can sense you’re being seen But by the time you turn Too late – I’ve already been And you can feel the shivers Run up and down your spine And your heart beats a little faster Just the same as mine And I vow to be more careful And not to give you a fright ‘cos I love my life easy Lived mostly during the night Sometimes I miss the sunshine But there’s consolation to living in I least I don’t get sunburnt Or cancer of the skin I needed a place to live And your cupboard was quite near So when you weren’t looking I quietly moved in here And i try to be so careful To be tidy and neat Never being greedy Taking just enough to eat Sometimes it's a little lonely And I miss the joys of sex But then I conjure a picture Of my beloved ex I’ve reached the peak of my profession Live a life so free of care I’m the man who lives in your cupboard And nobody knows I’m there