Get Your Premium Membership

The Lonely Oak

Poet's Notes
(Show)

Become a Premium Member and post notes and photos about your poem like Alexis Y..


Hey Soupers this my attempt at Gregory Bardens lastest contest. Feel free to give me your honest opinions/ feedback on how I could improve it. To be honest I have know if it's correct.
I saw him from afar, a lonely oak tree, both of his eyes contained such misery. I wanted to know his story,he's a mystery. He looks so sad, I wanted him to be happy, Our eyes met and he beckoned me. I saw him come to life right before my eyes. He was happy again, he took off his disguise, No longer hurt from heartbreak and many lies, He was now free from life’s overwhelming sighs. That lively oak touched me right down to the core We had a bond and friendship, I couldn't ask for more I’m just happy the pain he carried, he no longer bore His compassion and intelligence just blew me away I’m forever grateful that I met him, it was a great day Our connection will last until the end of time and beyond! For he is now out of shell and is now a rare beauty He no longer feels that abandonment is his demise My dear and sturdy oak has nothing to abhor His mission in life is to laugh and just simply play That oak is my confidant, our hearts will always correspond Gregory Barden's"MINUANETTA Contest using rhyme scheme of (at least) AAAAA, BBBB, CCC, DD, E, ABCDE. It must have a least this many lines, (20) Theme is "CHREMAMORPHISM" 3-28-18

Copyright © | Year Posted 2018




Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 4/2/2018 10:49:00 PM
This is a lovely write! I love trees!
Login to Reply
Date: 3/28/2018 7:40:00 PM
Excellent poem, Alexis! LOVE the message and form. A very cool write, using a variant of my original "Step Rhyme" form concept. Tho' I am a bit miffed that my suggested "Step Rhyme" form was never given official status by PSoup management. I ain't mad at Greg. This was a very challenging poetic form to tackle. Particularly the last stanza, which combines all of the other stanza rhymes on each succeeding line. All the while, making the last stanza coherently consistent w/the rest of the poem. Great work by your talented pen. Love and best wishes always.
Login to Reply

Book: Shattered Sighs