The Lonely Oak

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Hey Soupers this my attempt at Gregory Bardens lastest contest. Feel free to give me your honest opinions/ feedback on how I could improve it. To be honest I have know if it's correct.
I saw him from afar, a lonely oak tree, 
both of his eyes contained such misery.
I wanted to know his story,he's a mystery. 
He looks so sad, I wanted him to be happy,
Our eyes met and he beckoned me.


I saw him come to life right before my eyes.
He was happy again, he took off his disguise, 
No longer hurt from heartbreak and many lies,
He was now free  from life’s overwhelming sighs.
  
That lively oak touched me right down to the core
We had a bond and friendship, I couldn't ask for more
I’m just happy the pain he carried, he no longer bore



His compassion and intelligence  just blew me  away
I’m forever grateful that I met him, it was a great day


Our connection will last until the end of time and beyond!




For he is now out of shell and is now a rare beauty 
He no longer feels that abandonment is his demise 
My dear and sturdy oak has nothing to abhor 
His mission in life is to laugh and just simply play
That oak is my confidant, our hearts will always correspond





Gregory Barden's"MINUANETTA Contest using rhyme scheme
 of (at least) AAAAA, BBBB, CCC, DD, E, ABCDE. It must have a least this many lines, (20)

Theme is  "CHREMAMORPHISM"


3-28-18

Copyright © | Year Posted 2018



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Date: 4/2/2018 10:49:00 PM
This is a lovely write! I love trees!
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Date: 3/28/2018 7:40:00 PM
Excellent poem, Alexis! LOVE the message and form. A very cool write, using a variant of my original "Step Rhyme" form concept. Tho' I am a bit miffed that my suggested "Step Rhyme" form was never given official status by PSoup management. I ain't mad at Greg. This was a very challenging poetic form to tackle. Particularly the last stanza, which combines all of the other stanza rhymes on each succeeding line. All the while, making the last stanza coherently consistent w/the rest of the poem. Great work by your talented pen. Love and best wishes always.
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