The Lectures

I was strolling down a side street of our little town last night.
Did I say strolling, no that’s wrong; I was a sad and sorry sight,
And God knows what the time was, but I knew that it’s past ten,
‘cause that’s what time the pub shuts and they’ve thrown me out again.

So it could have been near midnight ‘cause when I’ve had a few,
what happens in this happy time I must admit I have no clue,
but there are moments in this state that have a sobering affect,
‘specially when I’ve got the staggers and appearance of neglect.

It comes in the form of torches and a blue light that rotates,
when they’re looking out for felons or the fellow who gyrates.
Thank God there are back fences down these skinny little lanes,
so I can lean against them until the questioning abstains.

I can almost feel the concrete that has often been my bed,
where I can wake up sober if excuses made and said
do not measure up to standard from a normal married bloke,
who should be home and stone cold sober - not rotten drunk and broke.   

It is the wont or freedom sorting wheat out from the chaff,
and I figure with my pretext that is why the coppers laugh,
for at midnight I’m explaining that the coppers think conjecture,
when I said I’m off to listen to a strong intensive lecture.

And this lecture I will listen to is with a message I confess,
about my failure drinking alcohol that causes acts of drunkenness,
but it’s in this situation that the coppers deem not right,
for no one blessed with sanity does lecture late at night.      

I might be in my drunken state and staggering from the drink,
but my message for the coppers who insist on talking ‘clink’,
is that I’ve been to many lectures and there will be many more,
that are given by my darling wife and the dear old ma-in law.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2020



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Date: 3/24/2020 5:34:00 PM
Ah yes! the told -you -so lectures, love them... :(
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Laurie Avatar
Lindsay Laurie
Date: 3/26/2020 9:47:00 PM
G'day Timothy … I can't imagine life without them, but they do keep driving me to drink - stay safe Timothy - Lindsay
Date: 3/18/2020 7:22:00 PM
Hahaha! You must have a PhD in 'Alcohol Awareness' by now, my friend. Thanks for this enjoyable post. Bottoms up, Gershon
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Laurie Avatar
Lindsay Laurie
Date: 3/26/2020 9:45:00 PM
G'day Gershon … it's always good to see Ma-in Law letting off steam. She should make a CD and just play it every time and we could enjoy a drink together while we listened - stay safe Gershon - Lindsay
Date: 3/18/2020 11:00:00 AM
If it wasn't for the "clink" perhaps a nightcap would be in order to brace yourself! A fun story, we only live once, enjoy every moment Lndsay and all of you be SAFE. Blessings, Jennifer
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Laurie Avatar
Lindsay Laurie
Date: 3/26/2020 9:40:00 PM
Hello Jennifer … using the excuse that the publican stated; alcohol keeps the virus at bay didn't work. Don't matter now. The pubs are shut until this virus runs its course - stay safe Jennifer - Lindsay
Date: 3/17/2020 10:54:00 PM
If the above is not the voice of experience, your imagination has more truth than the Bible! Aloha! Rico
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Laurie Avatar
Lindsay Laurie
Date: 3/26/2020 9:36:00 PM
G'day Rico … after a number of these lectures, we soon realize the beer ain't worth it. Living on a diet of hot tongue and cold shoulder is just not worth it - catch you Rico - Lindsay
Date: 3/17/2020 9:57:00 PM
The dreaded dragon and her offspring lol. Hope you're well Lindsay, first the fires now this damn virus. Stay safe. Tom
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Laurie Avatar
Lindsay Laurie
Date: 3/26/2020 9:33:00 PM
G'day Tom … we're fine, but it been one heck of a year. I expect floods to be next - thank you Tom and you stay safe also - Lindsay
Date: 3/17/2020 7:11:00 PM
ha ha ha yeah bet you'd need to go out drinking again before you went to meet the relations and face the music lol:-) hugs jan xx
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Laurie Avatar
Lindsay Laurie
Date: 3/26/2020 9:30:00 PM
It could have been much worse Jan. They could have waited until I was sober before the lectures were presented to me - thanks Jan - Lindsay
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