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The Last Goodbye

the hardest thing is letting go
goodbyes were never my thing 
memories are the enemy 
when someone close to you dies 
a piece of your heart slowly fades away
and at some point you forget whats happening 
you forget how to smile
you realize they aren't coming back so why hold on 
why face all the sadness and fear
why must things be so hard
when they disappear 
why fear what helps you the most 
why be afraid if you see there ghost
when that part of your heart breaks its hard to regain the strength 
its hard to mend the pieces
its hard to erase the memory
most of all its a ***** to numb the pain
nothing works 
nothing wants to help
it eats at you like its got you in its grasp 
when someone you love dies your empty you don't know where to turn or what to do
your scared of being alone
even when they were near
its hard to forget..
   its hard to ignore...
     its hard to get over...
what your heart goes through to be okay
    what your mind does to solve its pain
           what you'd do just to bring them back
                  what you'd give just to say im sorry 
                         emotions run wild when you lose someone 
                                your not yourself
                                    you question things you use to be positive about
                                          you push people away to isolate yourself from more pain
is this what its like to be alive but feel so dead 
  is this what its like to want to forget what meant so much
     why did they have to go when it wasn't their time
         what could such an innocent person do to deserve death 
why is it so cold once they are gone
being numb isn't an issue 
its the hold it has on you 
   its the life it drains outta you
trying to be strong only brings more pain
      trying to smile when you feel like dying
the desire to move on only makes it worse
  you lose what your thoughts were
    what your dreams where suppose to be
       what goals no longer matter 
          what life even is worth anymore 
troubling thoughts come and go 
   disturbing images fade in and out 
      what is death 
the thing we fear most 
  the thing that rips us apart
    the thing that is made to make us suffer 
         the energy drainer the reason you become hollow
losing touch with reality starts to kick in
  losing all hope takes over 
empty
  lonely
     dead inside
no where to go 
  no one to turn to
    nothing can help you
       no not even yourself
is this really how its gonna end?

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