The Knife and the Crown

Negotiations I resist any action Fearing the outcome Fantasies escape Tall tales woven in my head Seeking a release Accusations hurt It is hard to tell the truth I am torn apart I want to please him But life is so very short Should I wait longer? Maybe tomorrow? He tells me his point of view Rushing out the door The moment is lost Only the trivial allowed I am left alone I think and I think Trying to figure it all out Spinning and confused The moment has passed The knife of anger will hurt No crown is offered I am drawn away The ones I love do struggle My offerings weak I must do something "You are not responsible" He tells me often My withdrawal hurts My arms are not reaching out I have been rebuffed Protecting myself My hands and feet are asleep I stand in cement The feelings are real The friendship is suffering Is it all my fault? His grip is heavy Reaching out for attachments I am smothering "The secret to life" Is to attract what you want I thought it was him The mirror reflects I am not wearing the crown Once so desired "You want the glory" The knife slicing both ways now Exposing the blame