The Joys of Internet Dating

I’ve paid my fee Uploaded pictures of me In a attempt to attract a mate Or maybe just a single date As the single life, all be it free Simply does not agree with me Now don’t be fooled by my opening verse, Im not unattractive and by no means adverse To normal social conduct of a type To attend bars and clubs on an hormonal fuelled night To meet and greet the love of my life Someone to have me in sickness and in strife Or maybe just a fumble with someone I find To gyrate on the dance floor, our bodies entwined Yet no matter how many numbers, no matter how many texts I still haven’t found my ideal opposite sex So I revert to the internet with a plan in my head Not attempting to seduce someone into my bed I write up a statement about who I am But I’ve chosen a picture of Jean Claude Van Damm You see the plan that I’ve hatched is one of up most cunning And my concern here a must is I’ll send em’ all running With a picture of me trying to look like a cutie Or my bare naked chest to try something more fruity No I’ll draw the poor girl in before I cause her alarm Then win over her trust with my very best charm Before revealing myself in all of my might And watching my next taking to flight But please my dear reader I ask you to see That this angle of dating can back fire on me As it didn’t occur to me, my mind never entering fear that there are many a female with a similar idea to post pictures of models and claim it to be them to draw the attention of unsuspecting men And I admit my dear reader that I was ensnared By a female of the species and enticed to her lair For the picture I saw was of a heavenly blonde Instead what I got was something quite wrong And yet the face that confronts me is troubled and dim And the girl stood before me rubs the stubble on her chin She says she is angry that I should take a hike For my blushing bride expected a Van Damm look alike Seems we both learnt a lesson about internet dating You need honesty and trust before cyber style mating