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The Joys of Internet Dating

I’ve paid my fee
Uploaded pictures of me
In a attempt to attract a mate
Or maybe just a single date
As the single life, all be it free
Simply does not agree with me 

Now don’t be fooled by my opening verse,
Im not unattractive and by no means adverse
To normal social conduct of a type
To attend  bars and clubs on an hormonal fuelled night
To meet and greet the love of my life
Someone to have me in sickness and in strife
Or maybe just a fumble with someone I find 
To gyrate on the dance floor, our bodies entwined
Yet no matter how many numbers, no matter how many texts
I still haven’t found my ideal opposite sex

So I revert to the internet with a plan in my head
Not attempting to seduce someone into my bed
I write up a statement about who I am
But I’ve chosen a picture of Jean Claude Van Damm
You see the plan that I’ve hatched is one of up most cunning
And my concern here a must is I’ll send em’ all running 
With a picture of me trying to look like a cutie
Or my bare naked chest to try something more fruity
No I’ll  draw the poor girl in before I cause her alarm
Then win over her trust with my very best charm  
Before revealing myself in all of my might
And watching my next taking to flight

But please my dear reader I ask you to see
That this angle of dating can back fire on me
As it didn’t occur to me, my mind never entering fear
that there are many a female with a similar idea
to post pictures of models and claim it to be them
to draw the attention of unsuspecting men
And I admit my dear reader that I was ensnared
By a female of the species and enticed to her lair  
For the picture I saw was of a heavenly blonde
Instead what I got was something quite wrong
And yet the face that confronts me is troubled and dim
And the girl stood before me rubs the stubble on her chin
She says she is angry that I should take a hike
For my blushing bride expected  a Van Damm look alike
Seems we both learnt a lesson about internet dating
You need honesty and trust before cyber style mating

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