The Hillbilly Olympics
Well now the Olympics are all over
There's a story you gotta know
About the first Olympic Games
And how it started long ago
It didn't happen where they said it did
Some place called Greece and Rome
It was started by a bunch my kinfolk
In the mountains that I call home
The games were a little different
When they started way back then
Like catchin' a rabid polecat
And puttin' him in a pen
The mountain games were one of a kind
With some real tough competition
Like holding your breath for as long as you can
While underwater fishin'
The three-legged sack race was also played
Carrying grandma on your back
Wearing your long johns and her false teeth
With snakes tucked in the sack
Another game called tip the the cow
Was played at night of course
You had to do it blindfolded
While riding backwards on a horse
And we also started wrestling
But we did it in the mud
The pigs thought we were crazy
As we rolled around in the crud
And that's the tale of the Olympic Games
And the end of another story
Of how a bunch of Hillbillies
Reached mountain fame and glory
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