The Grocery List
After weighing myself and gaining five pounds
I knew the consequences were profound
I bowed my head and softly prayed
Please let these pounds melt away
I had made a grocery list to send
It was time for a home delivery again
I knew I had to do as I must
Edit the darn thing or my belt would bust
The sugar became Splenda the doughnuts were gone
Ordering those Reeces cups was just plain wrong
No more jellybeans the soda became diet
I deleted the white bread, whole wheat got to try it
The syrup and jellies became low fat
Peanut M & M's no more of that
Brown rice replaced white rice making sense
While Nestle Quick became milk at two percent
But Halloween was dawning so would I dare
Order a giant bag of chocolate to pass out and share
I knew I could do it not nibble a one
So I order the big bag for the holiday fun
My groceries arrived and the deliverer put them inside
I begin putting everything away my order seemed okay
But emptying the last bag I was disappointed to see
My order did not contain my giant bag of candy
So I checked my e-mail for the grocery review
And it was something I should have knew
I did pray for myself to lose weight
The candy was out-of-stock, ain't God great
Copyright © Fritz Purdum | Year Posted 2019
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