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The Great Apology

I am sincerely sorry.
I destroyed your Ferrari.
I spent all your money
On drugs and whiskey
And wrong lottery tickets.
Those things are wicked.

I am sincerely sorry.
I lied unendingly to you.
I left a scuff on your shoe.
I know it was new.
And little were made; just a few.
I didn't feed your dog.
He's motionless, like a log.
Your cat disappeared.
He's gone forever, I fear.
I know he was my responsibility.
I tried best to my abilities
To find your beloved cat.
I only found a dead rat.

I am sincerely sorry.
I lit your house on fire.
It made my fears soar higher.
The situation was very dire.
I tore your military jacket
And lost your ancestor's locket.
NASA's recent exploding rocket
Was my distraction, excuse.
That's why the cat got loose.
Your child went missing.
I was furiously searching.
I only ended up wishing.
She's my personal Houdini.
She poofed while I went weewee
In that old dirty potty.

I am sincerely sorry.
I wasted all the toilet paper.
It was a prank on your neighbor.
The toilet is clogged.
Te bathroom is waterlogged
Because it all overflowed.
It was a sight to behold.
While I was pooping and cleaning
The phone started ringing.
It was a ransom for the child.
The price was crazy, wild.
But wasted was the money,
Unfortunately,
On lottery tickets
That are wicked.
And drugs and whiskey.
"The money is unavailable,"
I said, sounding believable.
"Then you don't get your kid."
"It's okay, I don't like Sid."

I am sincerely sorry.
This is my great apology.
Please forgive me.
I'm struggling, you see.

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