The Great Apology

I am sincerely sorry. I destroyed your Ferrari. I spent all your money On drugs and whiskey And wrong lottery tickets. Those things are wicked. I am sincerely sorry. I lied unendingly to you. I left a scuff on your shoe. I know it was new. And little were made; just a few. I didn't feed your dog. He's motionless, like a log. Your cat disappeared. He's gone forever, I fear. I know he was my responsibility. I tried best to my abilities To find your beloved cat. I only found a dead rat. I am sincerely sorry. I lit your house on fire. It made my fears soar higher. The situation was very dire. I tore your military jacket And lost your ancestor's locket. NASA's recent exploding rocket Was my distraction, excuse. That's why the cat got loose. Your child went missing. I was furiously searching. I only ended up wishing. She's my personal Houdini. She poofed while I went weewee In that old dirty potty. I am sincerely sorry. I wasted all the toilet paper. It was a prank on your neighbor. The toilet is clogged. Te bathroom is waterlogged Because it all overflowed. It was a sight to behold. While I was pooping and cleaning The phone started ringing. It was a ransom for the child. The price was crazy, wild. But wasted was the money, Unfortunately, On lottery tickets That are wicked. And drugs and whiskey. "The money is unavailable," I said, sounding believable. "Then you don't get your kid." "It's okay, I don't like Sid." I am sincerely sorry. This is my great apology. Please forgive me. I'm struggling, you see.