The Gravediggers
The undertaker at Butcher's Funeral Parlor received the dreadful call.
Seems old Senator Cheatum keeled over and succumbed at the local mall!
His untimely demise spurred the undertaker to set a series of events in motion,
To ensure that everything went smoothly with a minimum of commotion!
Senator Cheatum made prior funeral arrangements including the care of his cat.
He was to be interred in Glorious Sunrise Cemetery in a pleasant, shady plat.
Mr. Butcher, the undertaker, had to arrange for guys to excavate his grave,
So he collared three of the town's ne-er-do-wells, Arnold, Cletus and Dave.
He found them hanging out at Clyde's Saloon guzzling Old Milwaukee beers!
Those fellers had dug graves for dozens of townsfolk for years and years.
They loaded their shovels and a couple of cases of beer in Dave's pickup truck.
They figured on having the job completed before the sun set with any luck.
They measured the plat to a precise four by six and when all was ready,
Their elbows flew as they shoveled that hallowed clay, albeit, a bit unsteady!
They paused for a break every fifteen minutes or so to tap another brew.
As the grave reached the prescribed six feet, it grew more and more askew!
In their bleary-eyed state they weren't concerned about the esthetics of it all.
They just wanted to pack up their gear and head for Clyde's Saloon and Pool Hall.
They eyed their handiwork, drank some more and Cletus was heard to expound:
"Shucks, that old fart was so crooked that they could screw him in the ground!"
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Stay tuned - sequel to follow!
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