The Fight

What was it that happened that night?
What was it that caused one hell of a fight?
The fight between the demons and me
It's a constant battle to set myself free

I sat there alone on the couch
in the dark, hoping to find one last spark
That one last spark that would help me
free every last demon within me

So there I was in the corner of the couch
My knees at my chin 
and my hands on my shins
trying to ignore the demons within

I couldn't sit still
I began to rock
and all I could do was 
stare at the clock
I watched as the minutes ticked by
Wishing like hell I could
just have a cry,
just enough to let them out
How much longer would 
they scream and shout?

Cry I couldn't 
Which made me do
something I shouldn't
No matter how hard I tried
I couldn't quiet 
the demons inside.

I took off my watch 
turned over my wrist
There I sat
just making a fist
Staring at the knife 
At it's glowing sharp edge
Wondering if I had the strength
to make a pledge
A pledge with myself 
to put it away, 
never to come out 
for another day

I was too weak 
and I couldn't do it
so violently I slashed 
the knife right through it
I repeated this
over and over again,
would any of this ever 
come to an end?
How can I learn
to let them out 
if I always quiet 
their screams and shouts?

I watched as the blood 
flowed out of my wrist,
the calmness I felt
was just what I'd missed

Lost in my own little world,
Letting the anger within
cause permanent damage
to my own skin

When will all of this madness end?
NEVER as long as the blade is my friend!!

depressioni do not know?

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