The Fear Inside

What is it that makes me shy away from the word love What is it that makes me tremble at feelings so raw What is it that make me fear your touch What is it that makes me want to shut my eyes every time you look at me What is it this fear of closeness What are these walls that have built a sanctuary around my heart What is it this door that remains closed when you want to know me What is the reason that I cannot place my hand in yours What is it that makes me want to run when you hold me in your hands Why is it that I cannot lay down with you in silence Why when you draw me near I want to run in the other direction Why is it that when you want to know my soul I cover it with so many planks Why is it when you tell me how you feel I look away Why is it when you give me your love I do not or cannot accept it Why is is when you give me a hug I just want to cry Why is it when I see you getting close When you tell me you love me When you take my hand When you look into my soul I want to run away ,this fear so deep Of letting you near Of letting you in Of opening up to you I want to hide Why is it ?