The Face In the Mirror

It’s hard to wake up every morning and see a face in the mirror that so resembles the person that hurt you so deep. To see the face of that person that causes this internal battle you have to deal with everyday. The person who truly made you understand that there IS a thin line between love and hate. It’s nearly impossible to look at myself without being overwhelmed with feelings of love and hate for her. I hate her for what she did not only to me and our family, but to herself. I hate her for throwing away so much potential because she needed something better. I hate her because she made us feel like we weren’t enough. And yet this battle rages because while a part of me hates her, a part of me will love her no matter what. I love her because she can always make me laugh. I love her because she always wants to fix everything. I love her because of all the things she has taught me both directly and indirectly. But still I love her most because no matter what she will always be a part of me. But I hate her because no matter what…. I will always be a part of her. I look into the mirror everyday and see two faces: past and present, molded together to form one: mine. And yet no matter how many times I tell myself it’s me in that mirror I can only see her. My mother.