The Expert of Everything

The expert arrived in time to show the rest of us How to garden, how to bake, how to cook, How to clean, how to make our own clothes. She is the expert on everything. She can show you how to arrange flowers, How to bake a pie, how to talk to your husband. When is she leaving? I ask the other women. I already know how to do some of these things. My way, not her way. Frankly I do not stay around her long. I do not do well around experts. She runs out when she sees me get into my car. Let me show you the correct way to start that, she says. I gun the accelerator.