The Earl of Pence

'Twas a dark and stormy night! (OK - so I'm being a tad histrionic!) The Earl of Pence was lounging by the fire sipping his gin and tonic. Lightning flashed and thunder roared sending shivers down his spine. Even his hound, Lord Percival, was so upset that he began to whine! 'Twas well-known thereabouts that phantoms haunted the earl's castle, And on such frightful nights they were bound to cause a spooky hassle. Nefarious deeds had occurred within Penceshire Castle walls in the past, And were replayed in 'spirited' form leaving generations of earls aghast! A shriek from the bowels of the castle sent the dog into howling fits, And brought the earl bounding to his feet, scaring him out of his wits! The blood-curdling screams were from a former Earl of Pence who in 1642, Was hung by his thumbs in the dungeon for a fair maiden that he slew! Suddenly, the ancient organ in the hall began playing eerie chords. Heard on the floor above was rowdy dancing by ladies, knights and lords. Ghastly emanations from the past paraded through the terrified earl's room, Antecedents all, leering and grinning and predicting the anxious earl's doom! Lord Percival sensing trouble long before, across the moat had bolted! The storm subsided and the apparitions faded leaving the earl quite jolted! He felt a bony hand upon his shoulder that took away his final breath. 'Twas his valet who offered a gin and tonic to the earl who now lay in death!