The Durable Mick Malloy a True Story

In Jan, nineteen thirty-three, there was man called Mick Malloy At the time he was an alcoholic and a poor homeless boy. A young Irish fire-fighter out of work He left his home in Donegal - to find some in New York. He fell in with five real bad men Who wanted to cause murder back then. Poor Mick they had him in their sights An insurance fraud, they brought to light. They signed three life policies on Mick Now they had to kill him quick. Unlimited credit in a speakeasy, they gave him To drink himself to death-they went out on a limb. Although he drank all day long His life it just seemed to prolong They switched to antifreeze instead Expecting Mick to wake up dead. With turpentine they then did tempt But no success, so they switched to horse liniment. Finally a drink of rat poison, they gave the poor lad But Mick never ever seemed to get bad. They tried oysters, then methanol. Bad sardines, poison and carpet tacks But poor old Mick swallowed the lot, And still poor Mick kept coming back. The five would be murderers were baffled Poor Mick just would not die The murder trust then knew, something else they would have to try. One night poor Mick unconscious, they stripped him and carried him out In minus fourteen degrees,naked, not wearing a single clout. Threw five gallons of water on him, to make sure that he would freeze Poor Mick returned the next without even a cough or sneeze. Mick returned the next day to order himself a drink The men were getting desperate they really had to think. Next they hit him with a taxi and broke lots of poor Mick’s bones But he had three weeks in hospital, then they sent him home. The gang had thought that Mick was dead But when they tried to claim, poor Mick returned once more And kept on his drinking game. In desperation in February, in fact on the twenty second They waited for Mick to collapse, then gassed him in a second A pipe they pushed into his throat and now poor Mick was gone. The gang did not win even then, no not a single one. They squabbled and were caught and to Sing Sing them they did send Four to be fried on the electric chair what a sizzling end The fifth was sent to prison, which didn’t seem quite fair. He somehow managed to escape, Sing Sings electric chair Poor Mick Malloy has been long gone, but will not be forgotten Just remember to watch your friends though; you never know who’s rotten.