The Doggone Dog Contest

My Pet They say that a pet resembles its master, but I don't believe that it's true. When I walk with my dog, he always walks faster. When I eat a sandwich, my dog eats a shoe. My dog often scratches his head with his feet, but, I use my hands, instead. I tend to roll in bed when I sleep. My dog rolls in anything dead. I've never pooped in a clearing, or park; I've never chewed on a bone; When a squirrel climbs a tree, I don't stare up and bark - I'd rather just leave it alone. But I don't get fed, and watered, and rubbed, and I don't get treats when I pee. And I'm not, as quickly, forgiven and loved, when someone gets angry with me. They say that a pet is just like its master, but I haven't seen any proof yet. Personally, I think that would be a disaster. Instead, I wish I was more like my pet.