The Dictionary Hunting Expedition

Yeah, just grab an old rusty shovel, a case of Bud Light and hop in the back of my red pickup truck, because us country boys are heading down to Sweetwater Creek to hunt for some rare species of dictionary. Boy, don't you worry about nothing. We got plenty of ammo. Uncle Willie, you know them dictionaries got some powerful stuff. Yeah, they got all kinds of words that I cain't spell or spit out my mouth. Some folks say, you can use them fancy-polished words printed in a dictionary. You boys know better. We can't read, write or arithmetic! Boys, we need to shake a stick, saddle up and go rustle up some wild dictionaries. To capture a wild dictionary, you need to wear specialized Desert Storm camouflaged gear, and be very quiet! Boys, its time for the hunting dictionary expedition! Now, big Willie, listen to me good, when we find this critter, I am not settling for a handshake, because I need to bust a few caps in those hind parts with my double-pump shotgun. Boy, be quiet. Do you hear something rattling behind them bushes? Hey, look down yonder! Oh, Nellie, I got a big surprise for that old slick Willy dictionary. Well, I am a Southern Boy, with a background in cannon artillery and fire weaponry. I will deliver the final blow and knockout punch with my deluxe K-Mart special, double barrel Winchester rifle, equipped with a high-powered scope, aiming right-between-the-eyes of the victim. Big Willie, You know stuff is going to fly in every direction. Now, its time to grab that slippery dictionary right by the tail, fling it straight up in the air and shake the cobwebs loose! Just in case, we might have to tap it with a few more rounds of buckshot from my shotgun named big Shirley. You know, just so I can let it marinade. Man, I am so cool, when I captured this black double-breasted Oxford dictionary, I skinned it and cleaned it and turn it into a thesaurus. Posted By: Gregory W Golden Dated 16 Oct 2006