The Despotic Spouse Ilyzette

Oppressed is he, a coward in his house, A cringing serf, to the despotic spouse! Without a voice unless she's not adverse; His meagre wealth kept deep inside her purse; When friends advise she will demand to know; He fears her tongue more than a Stygian foe! By misfortune were she to be my wife, I'd quell her temper, stop her wanton life; Then tempt her with the buckle on my shoe, Kiss her soubrettes, then flog the wayward shrew. The Tyrant Wife. By the poet Robert Burns Curs'd be the man, the poorest wretch in life, The crouching vassal to the tyrant wife! Who has no will but by her high permission; Who has not sixpence but in her possession; Who must to her his dear friend's secret tell; Who dreads a curtain lecture worse than hell! Were such the wife had fallen to my part, I'd break her spirit, or i'd break her heart: I'd charm her with the magic of a switch, I'd kiss her maids, and kick the perverse *****.