The Despair of In-Between
How I am torn from even thinking we could be more
What reason do I have to change what we already are?
I make an effort to stop myself from overwhelming you,
And the next moment, you are all over me,
As I, confused, welcome your playful caresses…
And when I offer my own touch,
You quickly, shyly decline,
With a silence in between telling me you want otherwise
I can see it in your eyes…
In this trembling tension, I long to melt with you,
Offering you a deeper place within me,
You inch closer to me with doubt and fear,
And I wonder when the barriers will burst
My thoughts drifting into the glistening doubt of turning tides
In our jokes and laughter,
The love that is evident within us is coated away,
Tucked within each chuckle, pushing me away…
The part of me I long for you to see…
For once, I want to hold you, yes… possessively
Knowing it is not a trivial joke that brought us together
Though here we have not even established mutual affection
As it is evident in your complexion…
I refuse to believe this is all in my head…
It is not by chance that we inch closer to one another
In that shy, shameful hesitance
My love has no shame
It only waits….
You must let go of your uncertainties
But please… do not let me go again…
Do not reject what is rightfully yours…
For it kills me….love, it kills me….
My heart sighs every moment I see the love in your eyes
I curse the laughter that we once have cherished
For now it is merely a tool to mask the shame of our love
I know my words would easily fall into your heart to reassure you,
If only you would let open that door, I would show you….
I would hold you…kiss you, and know you…
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