The Despair of In-Between

How I am torn from even thinking we could be more What reason do I have to change what we already are? I make an effort to stop myself from overwhelming you, And the next moment, you are all over me, As I, confused, welcome your playful caresses… And when I offer my own touch, You quickly, shyly decline, With a silence in between telling me you want otherwise I can see it in your eyes… In this trembling tension, I long to melt with you, Offering you a deeper place within me, You inch closer to me with doubt and fear, And I wonder when the barriers will burst My thoughts drifting into the glistening doubt of turning tides In our jokes and laughter, The love that is evident within us is coated away, Tucked within each chuckle, pushing me away… The part of me I long for you to see… For once, I want to hold you, yes… possessively Knowing it is not a trivial joke that brought us together Though here we have not even established mutual affection As it is evident in your complexion… I refuse to believe this is all in my head… It is not by chance that we inch closer to one another In that shy, shameful hesitance My love has no shame It only waits…. You must let go of your uncertainties But please… do not let me go again… Do not reject what is rightfully yours… For it kills me….love, it kills me…. My heart sighs every moment I see the love in your eyes I curse the laughter that we once have cherished For now it is merely a tool to mask the shame of our love I know my words would easily fall into your heart to reassure you, If only you would let open that door, I would show you…. I would hold you…kiss you, and know you…
Copyright © | Year Posted 2015

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Hicks Avatar
March 24, 2016 at 1:01 AM
There are many twists and turns in your love life. In this, you are at a crossroads. "In our jokes and laughter, The love that is evident within us is coated away, Tucked within each chuckle, pushing me away…" It seems that the love is genuine, but it is painfully silent, and needing to be expressed. Getting caught in the routines of everyday life ... perhaps couples ought to make the effort to remind their mate, the reasons why they fell in love in the first place.
Breidenthal Avatar
March 24, 2016 at 1:20 PM
It's strange reading back on this, and how relevant it is now. Guess it's not too long ago.. I am still in the in-between with this person, and I am not sure it will ever be more than that. Which is okay, I mean, it took a while to get over, but I've accepted it as it is. I definitely have mixed and complex feelings about this person, still to this day. I figured if it didn't feel natural then, then it is what it is and we should just remain friends. Haha. I dunno what Im saying anymore. wahgah! >...< The point is, being caught in that in-between, the line between friendship and more, can be super frustrating! ~Laura
Hicks Avatar
March 24, 2016 at 1:06 AM
We aren't mind readers after all, and need verbal assurances now and then. You continue to impress with expressing complex feelings with relative ease.
Beaufort Avatar
September 6, 2015 at 4:39 PM
You are so passionate. Your honesty and self reflection are erotic and wonderful. Relationships are not easy--ever. When one is ready for something, the other is not always and it can be disturbing. One can only hope that one's partner is at least open to listening and understanding and not an emulator of hollywood behavior.
Breidenthal Avatar
September 6, 2015 at 4:52 PM
Yes, passion sometimes is hard to surface when the other is on another wavelength. There's definitely the tension there, that makes this situation so frustrating. It is surely a test of patience for me....I can wait forever. I will feel the pain of it though. No doubt. ~Laura
Peranteau Avatar
August 25, 2015 at 9:47 PM
I can reasure you dear poet....once this soul betwixt your write's finds that the pixie dust which you are spreading is for their pneuma, you will have either the; 'til death admirer, lover, forever friend, or, the jester without an audiance; for not griping your every ! ...Have a wonderful week Laura...much love, james
Breidenthal Avatar
August 25, 2015 at 10:13 PM
Aw, thank you sweet, sweet James! I wish you a beautiful, inspiring week! Your visits are so special to me passionate poet... ~Laura
Bordner Avatar
August 25, 2015 at 7:20 PM
Love such as yours does not persuade the heart, it convinces with the sound of need in your breast. Sometimes it is unbelievable how beautifully and truthfully you express the torments, and treasures of deep love Laura, a quality of faith that surpasses our belief in each dawn. "I know my words would easily fall into your heart to reassure you..." your words can build a heart Laura...J.A.B. A FAV!
Breidenthal Avatar
August 25, 2015 at 7:50 PM
Thank you Justin...my ultimate fav! I love your words, always.. ~Laura
Smith Avatar
August 24, 2015 at 8:35 AM
Very romantic Laura. The love is heard in the laughter, the shyness, the fear. Embrace it and cherish it for it might be true.
Breidenthal Avatar
August 24, 2015 at 8:01 PM
Thanks Tim...such situations teach me to be more patient still, enjoying the moment. ~Laura
Nunez Avatar
August 24, 2015 at 8:21 AM
Awesome expression of what the vulnerable heart feels yet brave enough to be honest even though "My thoughts drifting into the glistening doubt of turning tides". Just oh so beautiful, Laura. 7. hugs!
Breidenthal Avatar
August 24, 2015 at 8:00 PM
Thank you beautiful Kim! ~Laura
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