The Defect

Sami LaRose 12/01/11 The Defect It is an overloud of pressure Once of with I cannot stand any longer. All these built up feelings and emotions are driving me to insanity I constantly feel like I am rocking on a boat, Forward and backward Backward and forward A never ending chain and feeling of motions I smoke pot to get rid of all that I feel; but the effects only work for so long And when I go a day without the grass, my world comes tumbling down to (a) crash. The grass helps me forget everything; it leads my mind to a blank abyss I am not saying that I want to be soulless But I no longer want to feel; Because every time I have ever felt anything it ended in broken dreams and misery. And let’s not forget the heart ache, A person can only withstand getting s*it on so much by the world before they finally crack; Before the drugs finally wear off, and the holding of pain back. We as people were meant to feel, and when I feel it feels too real It’s an overwhelming sum of all these emotions, I feel things so vibrantly it’s scary. When I don’t feel weird, the grass makes me forget I was ever here. It makes me “happy” and no longer insecure, But on the days that I’m sober, I know the truth. The days that I’m aware how I feel, I know how bad I’m trying to stay clear Trying to hide myself from myself But what else can you do when you’re trying to be someone else; Pain is pain Love is love And a f*c* is just a f*ck. In the end everything is how it is just plain, simple, and like how it’s spelled out, So why go through all of that just to “figure it out” I’m like a puzzle, very complex. In the world we are all puzzle pieces connecting to one another to help each other out; But maybe I’m not one missing puzzle piece, maybe I’m that one broken chipped off pieces Maybe I am; the defect.