The Deck
It’s been thirteen years, but I still think about him a lot
In the morning quiet, standing on the deck he built, not forgot
I sometimes feel him there with me
His presence seems to hear my plea
After the loss I’d break down at any condolence shown
In time, it happened only when I was alone
The hospital room seems long ago, even the code blue
The tough times are at night, when I’m alone with my view
Or when I see pictures of dad, or stand upon his deck
Knowing he’s not there to counsel, or help me reflect
I do feel his soul or spirit looks in on us still
It wasn’t just in the first weeks, that I needed his help to fulfill
My journey of being a good husband and father
His guidance was a true gift, and never a bother
The Senior Skins Game was on today, a perennial prelude to the Super Bowl
Dad and I always loved watching it, golf a common goal
I watched for a while, but felt saddened and lost my resolve
Feeling guilty he wasn’t there, difficult to evolve
The legacy he gave me, enjoy life’s blessings with those you love most
Resonated more, as we were equally proud of each other, not meaning to boast
My last vision of him, just after he passed
Was important and lasting, something later to contrast
I talked out loud to him, caressing his hands, arms, and face
The tubes were now gone, he seemed much at peace
I tried to remember everything, leaving nothing to regret
Cementing a last picture, never wanting to forget
It is still is hard to believe he’s truly gone
Though time does heel all, I know he hasn’t withdrawn
I remember that last time, when we parted
We hugged goodbye, not knowing what life charted
I walked around the house today with my dogs
The pond is high, and the bass have quieted the tree frogs
When I look up at our house, I can see that his deck finished the place off
I thank him in my thoughts, and do so most times when I walk.
Thinking back on that long, hot summer, and the small contributions I made
I wonder if he knew his time was near, and the deck was his final parade.
He checks in on us, to see how we’re all fairing
I know he’ll be there to greet me when it’s my time, no despairing
My mom, still with us, is the kindest and gentlest of souls
And I work every day, to emulate her role
So if you’ve been blessed in time with parents who matter
Make sure you spend it not just in idle chatter
The deck is there to remind me of more than he or she
It’s something, like them, that will always be a part of me
Copyright © Shawn Sackman | Year Posted 2009
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