The Deck

It’s been thirteen years, but I still think about him a lot In the morning quiet, standing on the deck he built, not forgot I sometimes feel him there with me His presence seems to hear my plea After the loss I’d break down at any condolence shown In time, it happened only when I was alone The hospital room seems long ago, even the code blue The tough times are at night, when I’m alone with my view Or when I see pictures of dad, or stand upon his deck Knowing he’s not there to counsel, or help me reflect I do feel his soul or spirit looks in on us still It wasn’t just in the first weeks, that I needed his help to fulfill My journey of being a good husband and father His guidance was a true gift, and never a bother The Senior Skins Game was on today, a perennial prelude to the Super Bowl Dad and I always loved watching it, golf a common goal I watched for a while, but felt saddened and lost my resolve Feeling guilty he wasn’t there, difficult to evolve The legacy he gave me, enjoy life’s blessings with those you love most Resonated more, as we were equally proud of each other, not meaning to boast My last vision of him, just after he passed Was important and lasting, something later to contrast I talked out loud to him, caressing his hands, arms, and face The tubes were now gone, he seemed much at peace I tried to remember everything, leaving nothing to regret Cementing a last picture, never wanting to forget It is still is hard to believe he’s truly gone Though time does heel all, I know he hasn’t withdrawn I remember that last time, when we parted We hugged goodbye, not knowing what life charted I walked around the house today with my dogs The pond is high, and the bass have quieted the tree frogs When I look up at our house, I can see that his deck finished the place off I thank him in my thoughts, and do so most times when I walk. Thinking back on that long, hot summer, and the small contributions I made I wonder if he knew his time was near, and the deck was his final parade. He checks in on us, to see how we’re all fairing I know he’ll be there to greet me when it’s my time, no despairing My mom, still with us, is the kindest and gentlest of souls And I work every day, to emulate her role So if you’ve been blessed in time with parents who matter Make sure you spend it not just in idle chatter The deck is there to remind me of more than he or she It’s something, like them, that will always be a part of me