The Dancing: the Return Thereof

Prelude After banishing my foe off to hell The Lord took pity on my soul And returned it to my undead shell Again, I was alive and whole But the consequences of a second chance Meant that I would have to lead a life Godly and good Now more sins and women would I romance The dancing is afoot… I used to drink and get drunk as a skunk I used to not think and shoot first But the Lord has turned me into a monk I don’t know which is worse… ****************** Dark shadows on the wall Strange noises in the hall Total darkness in the room Like and eerie cold black tomb Twelve o’clock and all is well… At least as far as I can tell Nothing stirring in the night Recovering slowly from my plight I’m sleeping in my bed Dreaming of the living dead Twirling, whirling and prancing In my dreams the bugger’s still dancing. I awoke with a gasp and a start Sweat soaked, wildly beating heart I can’t get a good night’s sleep My mind won’t keep in slumber deep Sailing my ship of dreams through Sandman Sound No rest for the wicked there to be found Raging sea all around I keep running my ship aground The battle joined and fiercely won But I fear all the unkind deeds I’ve done Keep haunting me like an old rerun I tell you, this is not a time of jolly good fun I had won the battle and he’s now gone But I fear the war’s still going on Do I need to make a plan, If this thing gets out of hand? In his tomb he lies unsaved Not at rest in an early grave Why do I fear his undead body returning Surely in hell his soul is burning I must rest, but I have no peace Will this foreboding ever cease? Anxiety over fears unfounded I must get my mind grounded I welcome sleep to come at last Maybe meds will help it fast My head aches, my stomach’s sick Thoughts of reprise cut me to the quick Like and old black and white movie show With a cast of all B players I don’t know Acting out stories in motion slow Like staring at an old TV, can’t see through the snow Exhausted into a restless sleep I fell My ship was tempest tossed on the ocean’s swell BANG! Something woke me up Bleary eyed I reached for my cup From my cup I took a drink And thought for a few seconds No time to pause and think So, I reached for my weapons My trusty cane and top hat And I donned my dancing suite I dressed for the occasion at that And I slipped on my dancing shoes Being dyslexic I lost my time And the rhythm of my mind And it was soon that I did find That I had changed my rhyme WHAM! BAM! Through the door he came Feet first into my bedroom Fortunately, he was a bit lame And he fell down with a big BOOM! I jumped up with my cane in hand And lunged forward swinging it over my head Again and again I struck the dead man Until I thought he was again truly dead But then he jumped up from the floor Muttering a few curse words ya know He unsheathed a mighty sword And came at me swinging it to and froe “Have at you”, he cried and sallied forth And I said, “Do your worst!” I muttered, “Is that all your efforts are worth?” He completely missed me at first It was an ancient battle axe Once wielded by my ancestral Galls I feigned left and went right And grabbed the axe from its holder I knew with it I would win the night Before the night grew much older He spun around and kicked me in the stomach I bent over in pain and started to cough I thought the only way to destroy him quick Was to chop his head completely off I had to choose my dance carefully I stupefied him with The Curly Shuffle I had to dance around him stealthfully I had him totally baffled and befuddled I sidestepped and shuffled about Until I had him in my sights I pulled back my arm, through the axe straight out The axe struck home and put out his lights I uttered a few curse words and said, “What the heck!” I had loosed the axe, my aim was sure With a spurt of blood, It hit him directly in the neck His head flew off and rolled across the floor It rolled over and stopped at my feet There was a confused look upon his face On my shoes he began to bleed And I said, “It’s time for you to leave this place!” I kicked his head like a soccer ball It flew out of the door And way down the hall It was the fireplace I was aiming for I lit up the fireplace with a roaring fire And threw his body on to the flaming wood It consumed the body entire As the head it surely would I walked on down the hall And found the head next to the heater vent I picked it up and punched it like a volley ball And into the fire it went It started to burn, smolder and fry “Please, where is my hat?!” He screamed and cried “I can’t go to hell without that!!!” “You’ll go to hell just as you are” “Without the hat my fowl friend” “You’ll finally be with your master” “And this is THE END!”