The Da Vinci Mode

Uncouth, unschooled in art, that's what you'll say of me, You know, I've tried so hard, but I still have to see da Vinci's Mona Lisa's mythic, mystic smile bewitching folks allegedly even from a mile. It looks to me she parts her lips so daintily to let a drunken hiccup out so gracefully, or stop a vulgar burp, hyperacidity, or hide those nicotine-blackened teeth artfully. But honestly, nothing in her mouth's symmetry remotely resembles a smiling mystery, perhaps she's toothless, some dental deformity, believe you me, I took up ortho-dentistry!